I have had worse than standing in front of a woman university in my 26 years of life.
For example,I'd be trapped in the nilgiri hills for two months on my first mission.
But not being worse doesn't mean it didn't suck.
Stared by the girls felt like I was some rare animal at the zoo,
If any of my men saw me in this situation,they wouldn't let me live it down.
‘Why are we here again?’ I shifted my gaze to meet the asshole's beside me.
‘To pick up my cousin,what else?’
he rolled his eyes at me, making me want to punch him across the face.
‘Rowan Agarwal’ would've been my best friend over the past years,for some reason he'd been the one of the few people to keep his calm beside me.
‘She can go by herself for your kind information’ I hissed at him.
‘I'm well aware of that but I don't wanna get killed by my mother’ he said,shooting a glare in my direction.I could tell by his face he wasn't so pleasant about it either. ‘But you already know she can’t speak’.
‘Myra Inayat’ was one of the cousins of Rown,no matter how much he behaved like he hated taking care of her,I knew deep down he was glad to be the one doing it. It didn't take a village to figure that he had a weak point for her,
anyways his love life isn't any of my concern.
Soon enough two girls showed up giggling with each other, I knew which one of them was Myra since I'd seen her a few times before.
My gaze fell over the delicate frame beside her,her eyes innocent and empty..For a moment my mind forgot everything.
Something about her empty eyes,the way she wrapped her arms around herself like she wanted to disappear,ran a shiver through my veins.
She looked fragile,like a delicate flower trying to protect herself from being torn away. I tried to force myself to look away from her and forget I saw her.but a part of me kept me rooted to that place.
I couldn't look away.
What was wrong with me? No one in my life had made me feel this affected before.
years after years I trained myself to control my feelings,emotion, outcomes..
but this girl..she was different.she was untangling something raw inside me..which I'd mastered to control over the years..I wanted to hate her for making me feel like this.
No,I couldn't have feelings for anyone. Especially not a girl like her who looked like she could shatter with a single touch.
I felt an invisible pull, like something was dragging me towards her. I tried to pull my mind out of those thoughts.
Yet I found myself still staring like a shameless person. She looked up. Our eyes met. And oh god! Those brown, Big and so fucking broken eyes took my breaths away.
She looked at me like she was searching for a safe place.
But the place couldn't be me. I was a person made out of glass who wanted nothing but revenge in his life.
My knuckles turned white from the force around my phone. She looked away instantly as if she expected nothing from me or anything.like she was used to being unseen.
My thoughts were interrupted by Rowan, who spoke up;
‘‘Let's go home then’’
I nodded slowly,my gaze still on her,as if a force was pulling me towards her.
‘Can we take her with us? Her uber got cancelled’ Myra signed at shahmir. I understood what she meant since I was forced by the asshole to learn sign language alongside him.
Rowan hesitated, I knew the reason, we were supposed to go to our office directly after dropping off Myra to the palace.
He turned at me helplessly ;
‘Can you drop her,Goerge?’ making me stare at him blankly, how could he think I would agree to this idea?
I opened my mouth to deny before she spoke up, “It’s fine,I can go by myself'’ her voice sounded as delicate as her as if she was afraid she'd be loud.
That did it, something inside me cracked as I found myself speaking;
‘Alright, I will drop her off’ I made my way towards my car but I stopped on my tracks,realizing she wasn't moving.
‘Are you gonna come or should I carry you?’ I said bluntly.
Her expression shifted,a mix of shock and shyness before she bade Myra goodbye and walked towards me.
I opened the door for her,I knew Rowan wouldn't let me live it down later,It wasn't usual for me to open a door for a person especially not for a woman.but that didn't matter for now.
I drove away as she got in,she gave me the address by google map,not uttering a single word.
My heart thumped in my chest every time I felt her presence beside me.And I failed every time I tried to ignore the feelings.
The engine died as I pulled the car in front of her house,my eyes widened for a fraction of a moment, recognising the familiar house.
It was the Hashim villa.
What was she doing here? I never saw her in this house before,not while I visited atleast.
So many questions circled my mind yet I didn't ask her any of them.thanking me,she got out of the car.I responded with only a nod. Watching her every step until her frame faded away into the house.
Gone.
I leaned back at the car seat..letting the emptiness surrounding me again ,the same hollow feeling I'm used to,yet it still hurt so much. I was used to it. It never hurt before.then why today?
I dialled a number, putting the phone on speaker, “I'm not going to office today’’ throwing the phone aside I grabbed the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white.
The car roared to life as I drove it away from the place, tires screeching. The engine protested as I pushed the car over its limits. Yet,It still couldn't swirl the chaos happening inside me.
‘What is wrong with you GOERGE?’ I muttered out loud,I was sure if anybody saw me right now they'd have thought I'm insane.I wouldn't blame them,I was going insane.
Great. I was talking to myself now.
‘Stop thinking about her’ I growled under my breath. ‘You really can?’ the voice inside me taunted me. ‘Yes I can’ I argued with myself. Not caring about how ridiculous it looked to yell in an empty car.
My mind threw back to her face,the quiet vulnerability in those eyes of hers. I couldn't stop thinking.
‘She's just a stranger,’ I muttered to myself.
‘Yeah the one you can't stop thinking about’ the mocking inside me spoke up again.
‘Shut up!’ I snapped to the empty seat beside me.
‘oh! You think yelling in an empty car because of a random girl is sane?’ The voice let out a sarcastic laugh.
“Fine! Do whatever you want! I will not think about her anymore’’ I muttered stubbornly.
‘Oh really,try harder,’ the voice taunted me.
“Will you shut up or I-’’ I grumbled to the empty air.
"Alright I will stop.but would it make you happy?’ The voice laughed loudly.
I sighed,completely defeated as I slammed my fist on the steering wheel.
'I'm going crazy,absolutely crazy’ I exhaled sharply.
Who knew of all things I could go crazy over. It would be her?.
⋆. 𐙚 ˚
It was around midnight when I came back to my family's mansion. My blazer off,tie loose,hair disheveled.
I was taken aback by seeing my uncle in the living room. Considering the fact that he was supposed to be back after two more days from his ‘business’ trip.
His grey eyes boring into my own ones, I lowered my gaze.not out of fear but out of respect as I greeted him;
'Assalamu alaikum’
‘Walaikum salam. Sit’ He replied,inclining at the couch beside him.
I obeyed, sitting where he told me to without any question.
'Are you drunk?’ He shot a sharp glare at me,which was acceptable since drinking wasn't allowed in our house.
I shook my head in the negative,no
matter how much I lost it I would never go into drinking stuff.Drinking'd be one of the things I hated the most.
‘Then why are you looking like you've gone through a tornado?’ He arched an eyebrow at me.
I could tell he was enjoying seeing me all worked up. If it was any other person they'd have been beheaded by now.
‘Needed to refresh my mind’ I leaned into the couch beneath me.sparing the details,‘why are you back so early?’
‘The trip went easy,that's why’ He poured some lemonade in his glass,turning back at me as he took a sip. ‘Where is your brother?’.
‘He is at the office,I didn't go to the office today and told him to take care of it..but he should be back by now’ I twitched my eyebrow,I shouldn't be worried about my brother.
But he was the perfect definition of ‘discipline’, he would always be back by eleven.
'I need to talk to you about something’ He threw a file on the table towards me,
I raised an eyebrow at him in confusion.wondering what new idea was roaming around his head.’What is it?’ I asked.
‘You need to take a girl under you for an internship.her father requested me. He is a great friend of mine’ I stared at him blankly for exactly ten seconds.
processing what he just said to me.
Judging by him,he knew I wouldn't hire anyone incapable for my company.
‘How experienced is she?’ I asked him,taking the file from him.
‘She is in her third year’ a muscle in my jaw twitched. ‘I'm not hiring a student,especially a third year’ I denied,yet I still opened the file without even realizing.
My breath caught in my throat the moment I opened the file,for a split moment..the world around me seemed to be blur.
My mind stilled for a while.realization creeping through me. Suddenly it felt like my whole life depended on that one picture in my hand.
It was her.The same brown, innocent eyes, the same soft curls , the same broken features.
How the hell?.
She was supposed to be just another random person in the world. A friend of Myra Inayat.nothing more,nothing less..yet here she was..held between my rough fingers. Even in the picture she looked delicate.
The name on the paper said ‘Anisa hashim’.. So her name is Anisa.
‘She is Usman uncle's daughter?’ I asked him only to get a nod in response. That explained everything..why she went to the Hashim villa. She lived so close yet I had no idea.
The memory flashing in front of my eyes. She used to be my neighbour. Our families were close friends. So close that a bond was created but life cut the thread of years of bond. Although we reunited again. Only Adesh and Alishba stayed in the picture. She vanished. We never saw her again. They never showed her to the world.
‘They never showed her to us.Why?’
The question slipped out of my tongue before I could stop myself.
‘I don't know either,son..’ Uncle replied with a deep sigh. Leaving me disappointed.
I couldn't believe that it was really her.The same little girl in my memory. How? Why? When? So many questions surrounded me, yet the only thing that came out of me was,
‘Okay. Kar leti hun’ I masked my shocked expression,replying flatly. No hint of emotion in my voice.
[Okay,I will do it]
Uncle blinked at me,taken aback by my declaration. I didn't glance back twice as I walked past him to my room.
I leaned my back on my headboard as I threw my blazer on the couch. My mind was only thinking one thing..Her.
She was like the little spark in my already dark life. A constant reminder of the empty feeling inside me. Her delicate frame flashed in front of me,I grabbed the photo like everything belonged to it.
For the first time in years,no–longer, I wanted something else than revenge,vengeance, control. That was her. A part of me longed for the string between us.
But she was far away..too far for me to hold. But I wanted her,no – I needed her. And I needed to make sure of it.
The memories were still sharp and fresh in my mind. The way she used to twirl like a princess in those fairytale books.The way she would lit up even a dead flower when she walked. I half expected flowers to sprout on the ground whatever she walked and birds trailing behind her while she sang along some rhymes.even back then she was innocent as an angel.
I wondered what happened to that bubbly,sunshine girl. The spark in her was gone, what was left was..emptiness. She looked like someone sucked the life out of her…
I needed to know what she had gone through that made her into this broken form.
Why did she look so hopeless?
‘Anisa’ The name sounded so familiar in my tongue.But I could clearly remember I used to call her ‘blossom’ driven by the fact her cheeks were as rosy as a cherry blossom.
Never had I thought I'd act like a lovesick dog while thinking about her. I felt heat rising up from my neck to my ears like a teenager experiencing his first school crush.
Oh Allah! I'm losing it! I'm absolutely losing it.
My eyes suddenly fell on the empty canvas at the corner of the room, since I preferred painting over drinking to ease the chaos inside me.
Without thinking twice,I got out of my bed. taking the painting brushes from the drawer, I walked towards the canvas.
Lifting up the brush I started painting over it. Every stroke of the brush is slow and sharp. I didn't know what I was painting. But I still kept my focus on the gentle strokes of the brush.
The moment I finished painting was the time when realization creeped through me.
I had painted those angel-like eyes. I ran a hand through my already messy hair.I couldn't stop thinking about her even while painting And suddenly I didn't want to stop thinking about her either.
I found myself putting the canvas in a frame as I hung it on the empty wall in my room. It felt like even my usually pitch dark room lit up through her eyes.
I regretted making sarcastic jokes on Eric about love. Karma did hit me differently after all huh? A bitter smirk curled up on my lips.
Call me greedy but I wanted her at any cost. At this point if anybody wanted my whole fortune I would give it gladly without hesitation. Cause the only purpose of my life right now was her and only her and I would rather die than giving up on her.I was willing to lose everything in my life for her. In return for everything I was willing to lose, I still wanted nothing but her.
Mine.I will make her mine.
❖─────•⚜•─────❖
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